“…And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?”
The Oxford English Dictionary chose the adjective “toxic” as 2018’s word of the year.
A relatively new yet a rapidly picking up steam trend is to point out the so-called “toxicity” of the people around you. There is no doubt protecting your personal boundaries from emotional abuse is a good thing. At the same time, some can randomly label other people and play armchair psychologists by giving biased assessments.
As a student, I had a friend called Kate. By appearance, she was a babe in the woods; she always used to be friendly and smiling. You should’ve seen the way she used to tyrannize her folks if the towel hung on the wrong side, or if the bed was messy. She gave performances worse than Lady Gaga’s provocative shows. As you see, every man has his besetting sin. We all have at least tiny bits of that toxicity somewhere deep inside. I’m 100% sure that if you take a poll among my mates, for some of them, I will not just be their funny honey, but a real biyatch. And there are reasons for that.
It would be foolish to believe that there are so-called poor little lambs, who have never done any shitty thing whatsoever. If some of the people you know identify themselves as such, then there’s a 99.9% chance that that person is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Inability to admit one’s mistakes is not just a red flag; it’s the ringing of the Great Bell of Dhammazedi that warns you.
Keeping your mind safe from unpleasant people’s influence is totally natural and right. There’s no need to be afraid to cut ties with people talking to whom makes you feel like you’re drenched in shit. There’s nothing wrong with that, you don’t need to worry about being considered antisocial. And don’t forget that sometimes you can be a crazy biznatch, too. Thank God, it can be changed. The main thing is to stop yourself at the right time, reflect upon what’s going on and correct your behavior.
After all, as Elton John would say, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”.