People who are close to us always influence our world view and mood even if we do not want it, and their behavior seems unacceptable.
And often, without paying attention to the red flags, later, we may find that the relationship has stalled and is not fun anymore.
I have highlighted behavioral patterns that suggest that the person next to you is probably not the most appropriate one, and further communication with him or her can lead to a relationship that is called toxic.
He (or she) says nasty things about others
Being happy for others is an option that is unfamiliar to some people. Psychologists say that this kind of behavior often grows out of insecurity and disliking oneself. The constant unpleasant feeling that someone is smarter, luckier, or richer makes such people gossip about, criticize, and judge the actions of others. If you have become a confidant of such a person and he/she pours all the negative on you, do not hope that you can’t get dirty in it. Most likely, this person is just as happy to discuss and criticize you with other people.
He (or she) is polite to you, but humiliates others
Even if rude behavior and disrespect are not directly aimed at you, they still cause stress, repulse the person, and spoil the mood. And if at the beginning of your relationship a person allows oneself rude attacks on you in front of other people, it means that he/she does not see anything shameful about it and may consider such behavior as a manifestation of strength and character. And such “manifestations of character” in relation to you are only a matter of time.
He (or she) often loses control of oneself
Another manifestation of toxicity is when a person loses control over emotions or just pretends to do so. And then he/she justifies the shouting and insults with an excessive emotionality, or worse, the person puts the blame on you: “You made me sick!”, “You were wrong, and I couldn't stand it!”, “You never listen to me, don’t you care?”
He (or she) is taking up your time
A person who has a constant need for self-affirmation and pressure on another will regularly put you in an uncomfortable position. You will have to prove to them that you care about them and choose between them and the things that are important to you. And if the choice is not in the person’s favor, be ready for the drama. Few things can compete with that kind of person. Work? Studying? Meeting friends? Personal time? None of that matters. The only good reason is life or death. But that's not for sure.
He (or she) is always right and does not recognize the opinion of others
Is it possible to build a healthy relationship with a person who thinks he/she is always right? Such people see others and communication with them as a challenge, a struggle that needs to be won. What distinguishes them is arrogance, disrespect for the feelings of others, passing off personal opinions as undeniable facts. Close relations prevent them from building an unwillingness to recognize other people as equals.
It’s always bad
It's not easy when there's always drama in life, but toxic people do dramatize. Something necessarily goes wrong, and then they need your sympathy and support. But by no means in a piece of constructive advice, because then the problem has a chance to be solved, and no one is interested in this. More and more new reasons to complain appear, and you increasingly feel guilty for a good life, compared to a "beggar."
He (or she) puts his (her) desires above yours
There is nothing wrong with rational selfishness and a state of affairs in which everyone protects their interests. But if you are the only one who constantly sacrifices your interests in a relationship, it is difficult to call it healthy. If your partner or friends always rely only on their desires and ignore your feelings, it is worth thinking about your position in the relationship.
His (or her) promises are worthless
Throwing words in the wind is another red flag that signals that your relationship is not so important to the person. Of course, everyone has force majeure circumstances. But the regular rejection of promises, because there are more important things to do, is a bright marker highlighting the fact that you're on a “backup” team. In such situations, it is worth asking yourself the question: aren't you putting too much pressure on another person, forcing him/her to make promises that they can't keep?
He (or she) expects you to make unnecessary sacrifices
If your partner keeps telling you that you don't match the ideal person he/she made up, don't expect them to change their mind. Manipulation can take many forms. It can be a pressure on guilt for your actions, lifestyle, or even the way you dress. Or it can be a constant reminder that you could try to become better for them and change your views, habits, beliefs. Do you think you are really ready to get rid of your personality for the sake of another person?
You're ashamed of his (her) behavior
It seems that this point may contradict the previous one because everyone is free to show their personality as they see fit. But understanding that a partner is not the right one for you, and putting pressure on him or her to contribute to changes are different things. A relationship can become destructive to your psyche if you understand that the person does not fit your basic ideals and attitudes, but you continue to stay together.