Every friend is convinced that he/she is the best friend in the world. But in fact, affectionate friendship sometimes develops into a truly toxic relationship. And it may very well be that the reason for this is you.
1.You tell your friend the truth
Literally, all the truth, which is not stained with tact and sensitivity. For example, you sincerely inform your friend that it is not the sweater that makes him/her look fat, but the habit of eating poppy rolls 8 times a day. And in the end, you add especially disgustingly: "No one will tell you the truth, except me!" In fact, no one needs such a truth.
2. You tell your friend everything about yourself
In theory, this is a sign that you completely trust your friend. In practice, such frankness usually means that you are only talking about yourself and your problems, because your friend cannot get a word in edgeways about his/her problems. And if they can, they will hear in response: "Oh, yes, it was like that for me, too! Listen, I'll tell you the whole story…" This is a one-sided game, and if you don't start to listen to not only yourself, the final whistle will blow soon.
3. You teach your friend how to live
Your friendly vocabulary has phrases like "You just need to ..." and "You should ...", which you give out without asking. "You need to lose weight," "You need to break up with her," "You have to stop thinking about it and do something else," and so on.
This is not help from a friend but rather a violation of someone else’s personal boundaries. You can give pieces of advice when people ask you to, and you need to do it differently. For instance, "In such a situation, I would prefer to break up with them," or "Maybe it makes sense to try to lose some weight and see what happens."
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4. You often cannot get through to a friend or receive an answer in messengers
The keyword here is often. If you know for sure that professional responsibilities or personal life circumstances do not prevent your friend from being in touch with you, but nevertheless you often cannot reach them, this can only mean one thing: your friend is avoiding you. And if your friend cannot explain it, we can: this is one of the signs of the victim of a toxic friendship.
5. You never admit your mistakes
And you don't apologize for hurting your friend. Even when he/she directly tells you about it. You accuse your friend: it is not your fault, it is him/her who takes everything to heart and does not think with his/her own head at all!
6. You take but give nothing in return
Your friend is always ready to lend you some money or a cap, stop by and feed your dog or send your crush your supposedly secret messages (which you came up with so that he finally understands everything). But somehow, you always have some problems every time your friend asks to feed their cat while they are on vacation.
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7. You devalue your friend's feelings
Quite possibly, you do that not out of spite at all. It is possible that you simply do not know what right words of sympathy to use or are shy to express your feelings. But the endless refrain "Oh, don't worry about that nonsense!" is a serious devaluation of other people's feelings.
