Quarantine productivity stereotypes are something that is worth laughing at, and that’s pretty much what we are going to do in this article.

Have you heard about the new law? Those who haven’t taken at least three online courses, haven’t learned one new language, and haven’t physically prepared for the summer, will not be “released” from quarantine. At least, it appears so if you scroll your newsfeed on social networks, where everyone boasts about being super productive and successful even during the pandemic. But it’s not really worth beating yourself up for not willing or wanting to constantly educate yourself while being in self-isolation.

The whole “try to be productive in quarantine” thing can play a bad joke on an overly stressed and anxious person who can’t stop worrying about the future. This person, who is filled with distress and anxiety, will aim at living up to bloggers’ standards of success, driving oneself into an even deeper pit of emotional burnout.

We decided that laughing at and dispelling the myths of productivity in quarantine is a very much needed thing to do! Therefore, we’ve made a list of dubious quarantine achievements. Why are they dubious? Because if you haven’t achieved all of this, this is not a fuckup, and you should not feel ashamed at all.

1. You haven’t got your body in shape

Almost all fitness coaches now provide live-stream workout classes on social networks (which are often free), and at least one friend out of ten goes for a run every day. Sport really is healthy and beneficial for you. It improves your overall well-being and fills you with energy. But practicing sports to meet the far-fetched standards of bloggers (like getting fit or losing weight now that you’re in quarantine) is unfavorable.

Your body, which already doesn’t feel well because of stress, will resist the grueling workouts you are not used to, let alone strict diets and hunger strikes. Activity is healthy at the level that your body requires. It can be a walk through the woods or a long morning walk with a dog. You need to increase your daily physical activity only if you want to, not because bloggers urge you to.

2. You haven’t taken the successful success/art of reading/standing on your head in a tiger pose course

It seems that there’s a new free online course starting every minute in the world. By the name of some of them, you can understand how much of the unknown and absurd exists in the world. There’s even an idiom “underwater basket weaving” that refers to pointless courses of all kinds. Why take them, then? Because we can!

No matter how useful the course is, you are not obliged to take every single one of them in the world just because it’s quarantine. If you don’t have a need to change your profession or if you don’t have a lot of free time, let’s be honest: in terms of spare time for self-education, quarantine is no different from other periods in life.

How to Take Care of Yourself in Quarantine
We suggest that we focus on the latest online instructions made by people spending time in self-isolation who created their tutorials for those of us running wild in quarantine.

3. You haven’t learned a new language or did not improve the skills of the language you studied before

The situation is very similar to the one described in the previous paragraph, but in addition, there’s another barrier. Frankly speaking, learning a language online is very difficult, especially for beginners. Besides, there’s a lack of motivation like “I’ll soon go on a trip, and I will need those skills to communicate with others.”

4. You haven’t read the 1,000 best books according to The New York Times/Steve Jobs/your parking neighbor

Or maybe you haven’t read a single book at all. After all, literature is better perceived when you’re in the right mood and have some inspiration. Reading for the sake of a tick in your list is usually a not very useful activity.

5. You haven’t become the best housewife or househusband in the world

You still eat macaroni and cheese instead of gazpacho for dinner? Your cooking skills are still far from Gordon Ramsay’s? And your apartment is not cleaned according to Martha Stewart’s concepts? What on earth were you doing during quarantine?

All these household skills are important, but they directly depend on your preferences and lifestyle. If you used to hate cooking even instant noodles; or used to come home only to get some sleep, it’s foolish to expect that even after a few months, your habits would change dramatically.

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6. You haven’t found your hobby

You can’t paint, can’t compose poems, and the embroidery thing is not going well either. Creativity is great, but you’ll not be able to be creative if you are not sincerely willing to. There is a variety of hobbies, and they can be significantly different from those that you may see in Instagram videos. After all, watching a good movie in the evenings or taking care of your loved ones is also a kind of hobby.

7. You haven’t become a time management expert

The schedule of the day during quarantine is based on the principle “I woke up and that’s enough” because without traditional rituals (like getting coffee in your favorite coffee shop or a Saturday brunch with friends), planning a day requires an entirely different approach. And forming new traditions takes time.

It is especially difficult for workaholics to quarantine because the risk of forgetting about lunch in a home office or forgetting to sleep at night has increased significantly. We do not recommend doing that, but we understand you perfectly. Don’t get us wrong, we are not agitating you to turn into a creature that doesn’t do anything, but being a little lazy and not trying to become the most successful quarantineer is not so bad, well, at least occasionally.

And don’t forget about people who do not have an opportunity to relax and think about themselves. You can help such people right now without leaving your couch. There are many charitable programs to help doctors and retirees that you can easily find on the Internet. This can be a donation of $5 to a local atelier for sewing masks for doctors, or a donation of $20 to a consumer basket for your elderly neighbor. It all depends on your desire and capabilities.